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2010年11月27日

另一個我

 
日式邊爐:邊爐後,加飯和蛋,拌勻至糊狀務求把飯將湯的精華都吸收。but in the end, 邊爐還是邊爐

適應環境是不是就是將自己改造,去迎合因環境改變而對自身期望及認知改變的過程?我意識到在日本的我不是在美國的我,也不是在香港的我。變化之大有時自己也令自己驚訝。如果不同的環境,情況都會帶出一個不同的「我」,哪,甚麼時候的我才是「真」的我?是不是其實所謂的「自我」不過是一個相對性的設定(relative setting)而沒有絕對的定義(absolute definition)?

說得懶學術,但其實意思很簡單。在日本,人人都以為我說的英文很地道,而因為我知道別人這種預期設想,所以說起英語時好像比在美國時更自信,能暢所欲言談笑風生。從另一個角度看,這是一個他們給我的英語認受證,有了它,就算有詞不達意的時候,我也可肆無忌憚地認可自己的語句。換轉是在美國,當然沒有這樣容易蒙混過關。的而且確因為日子有功我說的英語已經很生活化,但潛意識裡因為認定自己的母語不是英語,當別人稍為不明白的時候,便會立即以為是自己的問題而失去信心,所以一開始說起上來便要更小心翼翼未能說得痛快。

當然,這個英語的例子可引伸至生活裡其他的習慣。以前在美國人為主的聚會我都話很少,但昨夜出席日本人為多數的火窩聚會我竟然沒有感到一絲格格不入的不安,友人都很體諒我的爛日語而盡量遷就說英語, 很奇怪地到中段話說得最多,情緒最高漲的那個竟然是我。這個「我」當然不是那個在美國人聚會不自然的「我」,但亦不完全是自然流露沒有計算的「我」。那是因為我知道日本友人會對我很寬容而稍為放肆的我。美國人一般來說都比日本人來得開放,但在美國我明白自己不是一個完全的美國人,因而找不到自己的定位所以沒法好好自處,在日本我卻能利用日本人對美國人的觀感去令自己覺得輕鬆。

說到底,我還是說不出甚麼時候才是真實的我。但或許,正是這種對自己的不確定性令我能夠快速適應不同環境。

2010年11月22日

稻香

I always come back to this song whenever I feel like I've lost sight of what I am doing.



對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢繼續往前走
為什麼人要這麼的脆弱 墮落
請你打開電視看看
多少人為生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我們是不是該知足
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡 隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑 鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好

不要這麼容易就想放棄 就像我說的
追不到的夢想 換個夢不就得了
為自己的人生鮮豔上色 先把愛塗上喜歡的顏色
笑一個吧 功成名就不是目的
讓自己快樂快樂這才叫做意義
童年的紙飛機 現在終于飛回我手裡
所謂的那快樂 赤腳在田裡追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂給叮到怕了 誰在偷笑呢
我靠著稻草人吹著風唱著歌睡著了
哦 哦 午後吉它在蟲鳴中更清脆
哦 哦 陽光灑在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡 隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑 鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好

2010年11月18日

因為我是美國人



美國人的身份是我的良心疪護所。

我慶幸自己可以不用感到羞愧地,用美國人的身份去批責這個自稱泱泱大國,卻容不了一個父親替兒子開聲的政權。

因為我是美國人,我不用對中國法庭良知的埋沒而感到痛心,慚愧或羞恥。
因為我是美國人,我不用對中國人民的沉默無聲而感到寂寞。
因為我是美國人,我不用扭曲是非黑白去正當化不公義的事情。
因為我是美國人,我不用對普世價值的定義爭辯不休。
因為我是美國人,我不用從經濟發展和維護人身基本尊嚴裡二選一。

昨夜出席了一個題為「中國抬頭」的講座,席間身為賓夕凡尼亞大學的教授主講談到現時中國就像一只在公路上高速行走的巴士,沒有人知道它的終點在哪,而巴士上的司機只能專注於讓巴士繼續行走,就像電影生死時速裡,巴士的速度稍為放慢就會引爆。他說道在愈來愈多磨擦的中國社會,政治改革是唯一的出路,並引用了前蘇聯於91年崩潰的例子。教育普及化是個很重要的前題,蘇聯的高中畢業率由50年代的30﹪升到70年代的70﹪,當人的教育程度愈高,思考的東西就愈不受規範。這世上沒有一個只會思考火箭技術的火箭專家或只會想宇宙星系的天文學家。此外,收音機的普及令蘇聯人民能夠接收到外國電波,這亦是令Gorbachev意識到不能繼續維持極權統治的原因之一。今日的中國每年都有過萬的學生出國留學,4億的互聯網用户亦令知訊流動得更快更廣。這是一個沒有辦法逆轉的洪流,只有先知先覺的推行民主改革才不致被大水覆蓋。

我希望這不是自我期許的設想。

2010年11月10日

Openly closed: Japan's resistance against foreign tide

Mixi: the Japanese version of Facebook
In an era of rapid globalization, it is somewhat shocking to note the exclusive nature of the Japanese economy, and to a larger extent, the Japanese society as a whole. The other day I was talking to a local and I asked her if she has a facebook account, she fawned and asked "What is Facebook?" I am trying my best not to sound like a presumptuous American who thinks everyone around the world should adopt to the American standard but FB by now has achieved an almost ubiquitous popularity around the globe. The local is in her 20s, university-educated, and is working for a large Japanese corporation in Tokyo. If anyone in the population knows/uses FB, she should be in that group. I was quite taken aback. This is Japan, not North Korea after all.  Take another example - On TV, there are quite a few number of shows on sightseeing and with almost no exception, it is a domestic destination featuring the same formula over and over again: breathtaking scenery in some remote area of Japan, onsen, and exquisite food. It was interesting to watch in the beginning but afterwards, I got bored by the “おいしいいい〜”, “うっまい” exclaimed by the hosts when they send the food to their mouth.

Nitori: the Japanese version of IKEA
On paper, Japan's markets are fairly open. Aside from agricultural goods, the tariff rates are about the same as those of other industrial countries and there are only few import quotas established. However, the truth is also that Japan spends less than half as much as of its income on imports of manufactured goods as any advanced nation. It is no secret that foreign companies find it extremely hard, if not impossible to penetrate to the Japanese market even though they might be able to offer a cheaper, better alternative. For all foreign companies which otherwise do very well in the rest of the world, there is a Japanese shadow version that counteracts this foreign influence.  Mixi vs Facebook, MOS burger vs McDonalds, Nitori vs IKEA, Raketen vs Amazon.co... and the list goes on. According to a paper written by Paul Krugman, the limit of Japanese import is severely restricted by the web of implicit business relations guaranteed among firms. Using Krugman's words, "Japan hands point to the interlocking structure of ownership within Japan; to the long-term relationships between suppliers, distributors, and banks; to an economy that resembles an elaborate old boys' network more than the free-wheeling markets of America". My professor further pointed out that foreign companies are reluctant to invest in Japan because rules are not clearly spelled out and they feel that they are not playing by the same rules as their Japanese counterparts.

Rakuten: the Japanese version of Amazon.com
Unlike China, there is no central planning of the economy by the government and yet, the local economy is able to fend off most foreign competitions. In addition to the reasons on the supply side of the equation mentioned above, the demand side also paints an unwelcoming picture for the potential foreign investors.

Japanese products are known for their quality and their "優しさ” (customer-oriented) and the Japanese citizens are very well-awared of that. Japanese's pride in their craftsmanship (職人精神) and their utmost focus on details is reflected directly on the design of products and services. The view that the Japanese made products are better and therefore worth more extends beyond manufactured goods to just about everything that is Japanese-managed or owned. People are more comfortable with Japanese made products not because they are tailored to Japanese only, but also because the Japanese interface alone provides comfort to the users, who seem to naturally repel foreign looking goods and deem them subpar. How much of this biased-ness against foreign goods can be corrected by competitive pricing is unknown but foreign companies wishing to enter the Japanese market should probably put in some serious marketing efforts. What Japanese consumers are happy to buy are products that are made 'from heart' and are made to 'touch peoples' heart'.

2010年11月5日

Good songs never expire

The melody alone warms your heart.

Southern All Stars - Tsunami



風に戸惑う弱気な僕
通りすがるあの日の影
本当は見た目以上
涙もろい過去がある

止めど流る清か水よ
消せど燃ゆる魔性の火よ
あんなに好きな人に
出逢う夏は二度とない

人は誰も愛求めて 闇に彷徨う定め
そして風まかせ Oh, My destiny
涙枯れるまで

見つめ合うと素直にお喋り出来ない
津波のような侘しさに
I know 怯えてる Hoo
めぐり逢えた時から魔法が解けない
鏡のような夢の中で
思い出はいつの日も雨

夢が終わり目醒める時
深い闇に夜明けが来る
本当は見た目以上
打たれ強い僕がいる

泣き出しそうな空眺めて 波に漂うカモメ
きっと世は情け Oh, Sweet memory
旅立ちを胸に

人は涙見せずに大人になれない
ガラスのような恋だとは
I know 気付いてる Hoo
身も心も愛しい人しか見えない
張り裂けそうな胸の奥で
悲しみに耐えるのはなぜ?

見つめ合うと素直にお喋り出来ない
津波のような侘しさに
I knowï 怯えてる Hoo
めぐり逢えた時から死ぬまで好きと言って
鏡のような夢の中で
微笑みをくれたのは誰?

好きなのに泣いたのはなぜ?
思い出はいつの日も...雨

I am timid, and lost in the wind
The shadow of that day passes me by
The truth is, I have a past of easily crying
More than it would appear

Fresh water, flowing without stopping
A devilish fire that burns without disappearing
There won't be a summer again
Where I'll meet a girl that I love that much

Everyone searches for love, destined to wander in the darkness
So I trust myself to the wind, oh, my destiny
Until my tears dry up

When we gaze at one another, I can't talk to you naturally
Loneliness like a tidal wave
I know...I'm afraid of it, hoo
From the time we met, the magic hasn't gone away
In a dream like a mirror
My memories are rain everyday

When the dream is over, and I wake up
The dawn comes in the thick darkness
The truth is, I'm more tough
Than I would appear

Gazing at the sky that seems about start crying, seagulls float above the waves
This world is certainly pathetic, oh, sweet memory
Journeys in my heart

A person can't grow up without showing his tears
A love like glass
I know...I notice it, hoo
My body and heart can only see the girl that I love
Inside my heart that seems about to break
How do I endure this sadness?

When we gaze at one another, I can't talk to you naturally
Loneliness like a tidal wave
I know...I'm afraid of it, hoo
From the time we meet, until I die, say that you love me
In a dream like a mirror
Who is it that smiled at me?

Why do I cry, even though I love you?
My memories are rain everyday

2010年11月3日

"I wished 2 things..."



"The first one is to do better of what I did"

"...The second one is to do worse of what I did"

so the line goes like this in "This is how you will disappear", the first theater play I attended in Japan which coincidentally was on the Culture Day (文化の日). It was also one of the performing art series in the Tokyo Festival. The line was sang by a young promising athlete who was threatened by her trainer - he would kill her, and he meant it if she was not perfect. When she sang those lines, she was going though the inevitable stage of self-doubts and insecurities while muddling through the road towards stardom. The journey was long and lonely and you could never quite figure out how far you are from the end point, if there is one. 

If we were better of what we did, we could be spared from the doubts we cast on ourselves and reassured ourselves the road that we have picked.

If we were worse of what we did, we could make peace with ourselves by just giving up and move on to something else.

The line hits me particularly hard as I am paving my way towards my desired future. (I have refrained from saying that it is my dream) I am not sure if I am talented enough to do what I have aspired for myself, nor am I sure if I can convince others that I am qualified. The paradox here is how to make others believe when are in awe yourself.

--------

booklet given in the play - just shows how far Tokyo ahead of HK in fostering culture activities

I am an amateur in theater but few comments about the play as a whole: The meaning of the story was hard to grasp but the production was no doubt top-notched. The lighting, the sound and fog effects were at their best even though it was played in a rather small theater with only 3 actors. The artistic quality of the play has exceeded by large margins the plays I have seen in Hong Kong. As a public policy student, the question then always comes back to, why Hong Kong has failed to produced a world-class theater play and attracted renowned international theater companies to play in Hong Kong? Simply emphasizing Hong Kong residents' indifference towards art gets in the way of understanding deeper issues in this society and to say Hong Kong is a pure financial city just does not explain anything.