羽毛

媽打近年常有感生活「浮浮吓」，不知在美國還是香港生根。我情況更甚15歲後沒有在同一地方住超過兩年，選擇似有很多但感覺不踏實。上星期看罷電影Gravity心內暗自感歎，原來自己就是Ryan Stone在太空漫遊，在大氣上看似消遙不屑人間煙火，但其實最期望的還是著陸，被甚麼牽引帶領。這幾年香港政治一團糟，讀到某些新聞時，還是會很抽心很緊張，與環顧自己人與事的輕鬆優閒節拍顯得格格不入。原來，人與地的牽絆比我想像的深很多很多。我還是會為太平洋距離以外小島上的人與事著急。我想就算我像羽毛，能在毛髮完全散落之前在空中浮上一會，到最後還是要輕輕降下，歸土。

我相信

N年無睇港劇既我今天也為香港創意工業痛心。如王維基校友所說：「香港短期內損失的可能只是電視頻道的選擇，長期來說香港輸了公義。」不僅是公義，健全制度，自由我們一併失去。一個我們曾經引以為傲的小島淪落成維穩城市，我黯然。但我相信香港還剩下香港人的底氣﹣我們賴以為生的意志，不會也不可能給政府也丟掉。

我相信香港「不會就此完結」。

王家衛／無力感／離開

One of the most beautiful scenes in "In the mood for love"

In Hong Kong, Wong Kar-wai is a well-known director but his films did not generate a lot of commercial success locally. Shall I say, his artistry simply does not mesh very well with a city that speaks money and efficiency only. And frankly speaking, I have not watched a single movie by him before coming to the States. But as of late, as I desperately seek out for something to resonate with, I found Wong's movies deeply moving - perhaps because i have reached the ripe age to have had a small glimpse on life's irregularities.

Then, it struck me how aptly the films portray the city and its people.

One of the consistent traits of his movies is the powerlessness and passiveness of individuals. To a large extent the characters perceive their lives as beyond what they can control and they do not impose their will with determination. The couple in "In the Mood for Love" who are trapped by self-guilt and consciences that demand them to act within social boundaries; the protagonist in "Days of Being wild" who can't gravitate his life towards anything; In "The Grandmaster" the main female character could not freely pursue the relationship she wanted. The powerlessness is precisely what people in Hong Kong have undergone since the 90s. The Hong Kong-ers did not have any say in the future nor could we affect the bigger political economic environment. I thought this sentiment echoes strangely well with the underlying irony of Hong Kong's prosperity.

Perhaps more subtle than individual powerlessness and passiveness is the repeating idea that people are always  moving to somewhere else. In order to start a new life, the characters move to a new place, leaving everything behind, often without qualm. In "In the mood of Love", the main male character moves to Singapore to escape from the unfulfilling love; In "Days of Being Wild" the two main male characters leave for Philippines with very different purposes but underneath the indifferences they mask themselves, they just want to run off from the unsatisfactory lives in Hong Kong. And in the "Grandmaster", Ip flees to Hong Kong because of the war, leaving his family behind in the mainland. In "Happy Together", the couple was on some journey in Argentina and they go from one place to another, can't seem to find a way back home. As well, people in Hong Kong are always on the move. From the generations of our grandparents who came to Hong Kong to escape communist rule to current Hong Kong-ese whom so eager to secure passports from some Western countries, Hong Kong is perhaps a mere transitory location to many. Why do we move so often? Are we facing problems so difficult and daunting that leaving is the only feasible option? Are we truly so powerless that our fate is beyond our ability to control or influence on?

I wish the movies would say more. But in the end, the character are just simply being. Floating along. In a hopelessly romantic but transient space.