the Japan I knew of

About 1 week before my scheduled departure when the real sense of leaving this country finally pressed on me, to my surprise, an unfamiliar sadness and heaviness overtook me. I have moved a lot the past 11 years, couple times within the same city, but more so across cities and states, and this time across borders and sea, so naturally I thought I would be immune from the melancholy of leaving one place for another. But this time it is different.

This time I was not 100% convinced that my decision to leave Tokyo would lead me to a better future. I had doubts, and I thought it would have worked out nicely too if I stayed - Forget about graduate school, I would just get a job in Tokyo, work like a mature adult and settle down. It didn't happen of course. A week later, i was en route to San Diego to lengthen my academic journey. However, the mere thought of settling was definitely something - part of it might be age but I genuinely believed that Japan could be my home in the future.

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Yes, its glorious days of world economic supremacy might have been behind its back but Japan has never lost its 根気. 根気 is what defines a nation and it is something that never breaks in adversaries. In fact, it becomes stronger and unite people together when difficulty presents itself. You do not shy away from challenges; you stand up to them even when things do not go on your way. Only in great difficulties does it reveal the nation's true characteristics. I know not a nation or race with so much perseverance and character like Japan. What is significant is that this Japanese 根気 stems from the love for their people and country, not from hatred against other nations or race. There is just a vibe of composure in the atmosphere, unlike Hong Kong or even some parts of the US, where air of haste and anxiousness afloat. 

The Japanese are unique in a lot of ways. In my opinion the "variety" of Japanese people definitely spans wider than the Hong Kong people or Chinese that I have encountered with: a female classmate who has worked in the development field in Afghanistan, college student who majors in Indonesian because he wants to understand better the largest Muslim country, family who runs a farm for mentally disabled people, Japanese language teacher who lived and taught in Vietnam, PhD economics student who traveled miles to some poor countries to run natural experiments... they have all demonstrated to me the possibility of lives that is unseen of and unimaginable in Hong Kong with their daring souls. On a separate but related thought, many said that Japanese are inward-looking but the statement was flat wrong to me. Yes, my "sample selection" is probably biased (excuse my economic terminology) since the people I interact with are mostly in an academic setting but the people mentioned above have shown to me that the Japanese world view is way more comprehensive than the world view of Hong Kong, which despite how it prides itself as an international city, is embarrassingly ignorant about some very important parts of the world such as the middle east and south east America.

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I have not used the word "touched",  "感動" a lot in the past but in the past two years, Japan has filled my life with so much of these "itchy touchy" moments that have soften my tacky way of seeing the world. I was unsure how I could best leverage this past two years to the better use of my future but then I realize, Japan is already embodied in me - whatever I do, its influence shall remain. This is a country I shall be forever in debt to.