Wake up, September is ending.

I've been sleepwalking through life the last few months but my day as a bum is fast ending. Re-engaging to academics and life in general serves as a relief to me as I sat idle, watching friends, ex-classmates and ex-coworkers busy with work or other endeavors. Though we do not want to admit at times, we all implicitly measure ourselves against our peers and our happiness is largely determined by our perception on others' level of happiness. It is therefore, uneasy for me to sit back the past 3.5 months. But life has a way of reminding you big purposes through small things.

Since my parents have closed down their clothing store around the same time I quit my job, we have managed to spend a lot of time together. And it was during then occurred to me that they have aged. I've long noticed that white hair has spout out from my dad's head but the process of aging actually goes less visible. Aging means you are stepping down from the prime of your life, and many tasks that were once easy for you, you now have to depend on the people around you. Little as paying bills online or driving to a new restaurant where yelp has good reviews on, these have gradually become like walking uphill for them. Then of course, what I observed as a sign of their aging might be exaggerated by their limited English and reluctance to adapt new technology. But the slope will only become steeper from here, and it is me and probably me only that they can turn to when they transit into a new stage of their lives.

They are progressing into the Septembers of their lives.

Septembers are times when farmers harvest their matured grains, fruits and vegetables. I am not sure if I have matured the way my parents have hoped or whether I am quite nearly ripe. I am probably still green in a myriad of ways but I am learning through trying - trying to become dependable while being independent.