After 1 year and 11 months of self-doubts, repeated but futile attempts of self-justification, anger, frustrations and all sorts of negative emotions, I am proud to announce that I have finally set myself free. The last day of work was somewhat of an anticlimax after close to 3 months of planning and a more-than-enough 6 weeks of leave notice. For all the setbacks I have experienced, I shall say that this job has helped me figured out myself and there are several important take-aways that I can use as a reminder for myself in the future:
1. I can work long hours only for a cause I deem worthy - and money is not one of them.
2. My ultimate passion is to help and inspire people even though I am not exactly a people-person.
3. I don't mind working in front of the computer for 13 hours straight but my brain better not be idle and numb.
The last week of work, I was paranoid. I kept thinking that something out of the whack would happen to me like getting seriously injured in a car accident. Maybe this day was too important to me or that I still have doubts about my decision so this unfulfilled premonition was a sign of my anxiety towards the future. Despite knowing that I will be in Tokyo the next two years, there are still important questions that I need to answer for myself like where do I want to and can settle, should I have a plan B for myself if the route to academia does not work out...etc. Also, I need to be more conscious towards my family's feelings when I am making decisions in the future. I can't just carry this me-and-only-me mentality going forward and really, start to pay attention to the people around.
embrace your new freedom and set yourself to sail at will~ XD
回覆刪除thx man, hopefully I won't sink in the hostile sea
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