自粛

Many people in Japan have started their own austerity plan since the 3/11 catastrophic earthquake as a way to express sorrow for the national tragedy. While the intention is admirable, the effort actually hampered the economic recovery of the Tohoku region, a classic example of what people's good will turned detrimental. The backbone of modern economy lies in consumption and any unexpected cutback will for sure delay a speedy recovery and any self-help initiatives. Similarly, the power-saving theme which dominated the social mood the last few months lacks true economic benefit as any dip in power usage during the low-consumption months will not help store up the excess power capacity in preparation for the upcoming high-consumption months. It only reduces TEPCO's revenue, which is much needed for reparations to the affected residents around the nuclear plant. While abstinence in energy has helped us reflect on the way we have been using energy and is good for the environment in general, any senseless cut should be rethink twice. The real test of grit of this nation comes as we finally step into summer. Already we saw a 93.3% electricity usage yesterday under an unyielding 35 degree Celsius. We will see if any 自粛 practices in the last few months help us weather through this summer.

On a related note, I came across to this blog post few days ago and that resonates with this idea though the context is completely different. We like to believe that what we are doing are for the goods of others (為你好) but a lot of times, this is uncalled for and is not what your counterpart wants. What is likely the case is that we just like to self-glorify our sacrifice and claim righteousness for the sake of pride instead of listening to what the other person wants and develop mutual benefit. So next time you do something thinking that it is for the sake of that person, talk to them before proceeding. 

Well, this is actually quite a dilemma to someone who truly wants to do something good for the society - are we really helping or just self-helping?

Enough 2b in-love?

picture taken during the hike to big 'C'

*Sorry, the below is one of those tortuous self-analysis*

Today marks the end of my extended stay in California. Having been through all the departures in the past, whether it was my very own or that of friends and acquiesces, it had never occur to me that saying goodbye would be this hard but this is just one of the many things that I did not know about myself prior to this trip. Yesterday, I sobbed, halted, and sobbed again first in Kentaro's residence and then on my drive back. As I am writing this, my eyes still moistened occasionally. And that was just one of the numerous times I cried in the last 5 weeks, which in sum has exceeded the amount of tears I had shed in the last 3 years. I never knew myself as a crying baby as to me, an outward display of tears put myself in a vulnerable situation and attracted unnecessary attention. Plus, a cosine curve of emotional intensities is just counter-productive, I decided in the past. Then I realize that one simply cannot be impassive nor objective when another person is involved with your life, especially when s/he is equally if not more sensitive as you are.

If the melancholy surrounds around my leave has done anything good, it must be that it shatters our arrogant self-rightness and have pulled us closer once again. There has been ups and downs in the course of the last few weeks. Flattered with the positive and receptive responses, perhaps I have arrived with an ungrounded optimism and thought that building a relationship with be a bliss. And so it went initially until we all have to resume to our normal duties and responsibilities at some point. I used to and still question whether my individuality would be compromised in the sense that I cannot be the best of me when there is a "plus one", never does it occur to me that the other person can be a complement to my life as I to his. But this very concern was based upon my perception of my role as the "giver" of the relationship and that is such a conceited thought of me! The truth is that Kentaro is also doing his part for me, and my contribution hinges on the response that I expect to receive. I therefore feel that I am wronged when I feel like anything I get is less than what I expected. I have merely enlarged my very own "sacrifice" and extracted satisfaction in this twisted self-glorification.

I remember in one of the essay responses I received from Professor Wallace, he wrote, " I can just see you zipping through, enjoying the ideas but not too interested in slowing down to do the nitty-gritty work 100% of the time. ".  It comes back to me every now and Prof's acute observation on my character deficiencies always amazes me. I always seem to have trouble with details and a sense of complacency prevents me from striking for perfection. This has put an contrast with Kentaro's particularity and is sometimes a source of frustration. Differences, however, are opportunities for us to appreciate ad learn. I remain hopeful regardless of the adversaries going against us. I think I am already becoming a better, a more gentle, and patient person as my life no longer only resolve around me now. This will be a long learning process but we can develop more consensus and become more capable of thinking from the other person's perspective as long as we go on this path hand-in-hand.

A bubble or not?

In economics, expectation laid upon on irrational optimism leads to the formation of bubbles. Market participants chant "this time is different" when the economy takes off with a promising outlook and all news are interpreted positively despite foreboding signs of a downturn. Outrageously high evaluations of businesses/ideas are justified on grounds of unrealistic estimation of revenues. We all believe that we are smarter than our precedents and can avoid the next crash. However, what perplexes me is that most investors are actually skeptical. When they are presented with new ideas and business models, they tend to be suspicious and are rightly so. There is no expert opinion nor past experiences that can be relied on so people proceed cautiously. However, chances are that even though the new venture might be the next Google, most people would ridicule this new business, denying any possibility of its success until everyone else harps on. Only the few who are capable of independent analysis and are willing to nurture the new venture with the necessary resources would end up with the big prize.

在経済産業省的兩個月

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経済産業省的外觀

上星期天在明報刊登的「安裕周記﹕通產省的破沙發」好像給自己在経済産業省的兩個月加上新的注譯，大有茅塞頓開的感覺之餘，很慚愧沒有寫一篇像樣的短文去反思自己在日本這半年來理應是很難得但自覺平平無奇的工作經驗，現在補上為將來作留底之用。

在経済産業省的研究所兼職了兩個月，談下上有甚麼貢獻更不能說對日本的官僚文化與制度產生深刻的認識，但從微小處可見大義，略談以下幾點：


1． Relationship matters．我這個不喑日文沒有人脈的外國留學生，如果沒有産業省內的人推薦根本沒有可能在這機構工作。十分幸運的是上個學期拿的兩課是由一位曾經在産業省內擔任甚高職位的教授主講，而我因為比較率性無禮在課內說話很多而被認識。其後在自己屢尋實習機會不果後，我便決定嘗試聯絡這位教授幫忙，不料在一星期內他便替我在産業省內搭好橋，為我找了一份替某位由中國來的學者當助理的兼職。

相較在美國找工作找實習競爭的激烈，這個實習機會可謂來得有點太容易。日本人注重的大概不是亮麗的履歷表或公式的面試過程，而是人與人之間的信任。「做生不如做熟」，産業省內的員工因為教授的經驗而相信他的推薦，而教授亦因為我在班中的表現而相信我的工作能力，所以我才會這麼容易獲得這個機會。這種互信關係減少了工作間可能出現的磨擦，亦是日本人團隊精神的另一種展現。壞處當然是有的﹣過份信任除了令制度失去自我改善的積極性外亦令制度變得不透明，使外人無所適從。

2．Everyone matters．日本人的團隊精神人所共知，我覺得這團隊精神的前題是每個個體都感到被重視和意識到自身對整個組織的重要性。每天的午休前産業省的廣播都會忠告職員離開座位時將電氣盡量關掉，減少對地球暖化的影響。我想，這不僅是這個國家對世界的承擔，這個政府部門對國家承諾的承擔，也是每個産業省職員對自身行動及對週遭環境影響的自覺。如果沒有感到被視為團體內重要的一份子， 他們不會將這廣播當一回事，不會將垃圾好好分類，不會不在車箱內用手提電話通話這些外國人看來高度自律的秩序。當然，這種自覺亦可以被譯成一種巨大的無形壓力，稍稍離軌便為社會所不容，致日本成為其中一個自殺率最高的國家。

3．Gender matters. 放眼研究所內，絕大部女性職員擔當的都是屬支援類別的工作，只有少數女性擔任研究員的職位。辦公室內只有女職員會將垃圾籃內的垃圾移至中央垃圾箱，「外遣」員工（即非正式社員）也是以女性居多。雖然至今不少日本女性都安份於男性主導的社會文化，但據我校經濟部門的伊藤教授的某專欄說，現在有很多(而且有增加趨勢)日本年輕男性屬「草食係」，即沒有競爭上進心，對工作戀愛都不感興趣，不願出國去闖，反之日本的年輕女性對外間的世界更好奇更想到外國進修或工作。這不會是短期內可達致的改變，但對日本老化和減少中的人口，更外的工作女性將可舒緩沒有足夠工人的壓力，長遠來說是一件好事。

如安裕所說，経済産業省是一所其貌不揚火柴盒般的建築物，在這裡的兩個月我得到的不是一些硬知識，而是一些不能隨手拈來需要反覆思量從經驗去提煉的軟知識。